


The Adventures of a Hobbit-Kitten

by thehyperactivesammich



Series: Hobbit- Kink Fills [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: In which Bilbo is turned into a cat, M/M, Why do I do this to myself, kink meme fill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-23 15:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/623507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehyperactivesammich/pseuds/thehyperactivesammich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt: Bilbo the kitten! One of Gandalf' s spells go awry and turns everyone' s favorite burglar into a cat for an undefined amount of time; the company must deal with their new feline companion and all the shenanigans he brings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Here, Yarny, Yarny

**Author's Note:**

> Found this prompt on the kink meme and knew I had to fill it. This is the second universe in which I' 've turned Bilbo into an animal; SRSLY, WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF!
> 
> This is a WIP. 
> 
> Your feedback is appreciated!

Bilbo Baggins, hobbit of the Shire, and respected burglar (if there was such a thing), was currently a kitten

Correction: he was currently a kitten, riding on the same pony as Fíli, huddled deep between the saddlebags, clinging on for dear life.

Bilbo hissed a little. He knew this was going to end badly. He had discovered just how clumsy he was in kitten form this morning, when he had nearly fallen into the fire, only to smack straight into Bombur's wooden spoon instead.

He was still unsure how he'd managed that, but he was entirely thankful that he hadn't gotten roasted by a campfire.

There was still the entire possibility he'd be roasted by Smaug, though, but he wasn't going to think about that.

He'd just gotten a comfortable grip on the saddlebags when he saw it...

His prey had emerged from its hiding spot. Bilbo's eyes narrowed, and he slunk forward on his stomach, tail sweeping slowly from side to side.

This time, he would emerge victor in the battle, and Thorin and company would have to admit he was a fierce warrior, even in this form.

With a yowl, Bilbo launched himself off the pony and sailed through the air...

xxxxxxxxxx

"Calm down, Ori," Bofur said to the younger dwarf.

"Calm down!" The scribe yelled, looking every inch a ball of fury. "He stole my yarn!"

The toymaker winced, looking over to where their kitten companion was resting. Indeed, he had stolen a ball of Ori's yarn earlier, during his flight through the air. And now he was lying on it, kneading it, playing with it, and pulling the yarn over his head.

None of the dwarves were willing to risk the consequences of going to retrieve it.

"Surely you have more?" The brunette dwarf asked.

Ori bristled. "That was my favorite color!" He protested, clutching his knitting needles to his chest.

Clearly, Bofur thought, there was going to be no consoling the younger dwarf.


	2. I Hereby Claim This Lap in the Name of Naps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bilbo is frustrated by the lack of communication, and discovers a lap to very comfurrrrrtable (why yes, I just made a very bad cat- related pun. I' m not sorry)'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO DWALINS WERE SERIOUSLY INJURED IN THE MAKING OF THIS CHAPTER.
> 
> You guys are lucky you're getting this at all. I was tired and grumpy and upon getting home I just wanted to collapse and sleep like the dead.
> 
> I made the mistake of checking my email.
> 
> adsjkfl you guys seriously I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH YOUR LOVE, COMMENTS, AND KUDOS MAKE MY HEART SING
> 
> Why yes, I am a big, giant sap. DEAL WITH IT.
> 
> Please continue to leave your wonderful words, they help me write faster!

Sun rose over the campsite of Thorin's company, and still Bilbo found himself waking up in kitten form.

"This is getting really annoying," He meowed, and Bofur, who had fallen asleep near the hobbit-kitten, blinked his eyes slowly awake.

"What is it, Bilbo? Are you hungry?"

"YOU FOOLISH DWARF! NO I AM NOT HUNGRY, I WISH TO BE A HOBBIT ONCE MORE...do I smell tuna?" He meowed.

"I really wish we could understand him," Bofur said to Fill, who had come over to investigate the racket Bilbo was making. "It would make things much easier."

The blond dwarf eyed him. "Maybe he's just hungry?"

The kitten faceplanted into the ground, paws and legs collapsing underneath him. Foolish dwarves, they were obviously not as intelligent as he'd thought. They didn't understand that all he wanted was TO BE A HOBBIT AGAIN.

He yowled again.

"Oi!" Dwalin's gruff voice came from a bedroll not too far away. "Give him a sock or something, just get him to stop making noise!"

Bilbo hissed, scrambled into a standing position, and leapt onto Dwalin's back. "FEAR ME, DWARF! I HAS CLAWS!"

Kíli and Fíli began to laugh as hissing and Dwalin's shouts filled the air.

xxxxxxxxxx

They stopped around noon for lunch, and Bilbo leapt off of Fíli's saddlebags. "FREEEEEDDDDOOOMMM!" He yowled, chasing his tail around for a few seconds before plopping down on the ground, licking his paws as he attempted to look majestic. 

In reality he was stealthily trying to decide who was best suited for nap-taking purposes.

His first instinct was Ori (ALL THAT SOFT, ENTICING YARN!) but he was pretty sure the young dwarf would ward him off with his knitting needles.

Not that Bilbo couldn't own the needles in a fight, he just didn't feel like engaging in another fight so soon. Dwalin, after all, was still complaining about the clumps of beard Bilbo had managed to shear off, and the hobbit-kitten didn't need another dwarf mad at him today.

(The bald dwarf had it coming, though. Bilbo, playing with a sock? THE NERVE!)

Fíli and Kíli were also out. They'd probably pass him around like a football.

Balin was a possibility, but Bilbo got mighty distracted by that beard every time he was near it...

Bilbo's kitty eyes landed on Thorin. Oh, yes.

xxxxxxxxxx

Thorin was minding his own business when a pitiful meow sounded from below him. 

He looked over the rim of his soup bowl to see Bilbo staring at him pitifully, with wide eyes. "What is it, hobbit?" He asked.

The kitten mewled pathetically again. The Dwarven Prince hesitated, before placing his bowl down on the log and shifting forward, moving to pick the tiny feline up.

In a flash, Bilbo had leapt from the ground and plopped in Thorin's lap, curling up and beginning to purr, loudly.

Thorin looked at the kitten, before sighing. "Not a word," He said to his company, picking up his bowl and resuming eating.

Kíli and Fíli sniggered, but none of the dwarves said a word.

(They all thought it was rather adorable, truth be told)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've also seemed to have acquired this mental image of kitty Bilbo just riding around on Thorin' s head.
> 
> IDEK, YOU GUYS


	3. Kitty Nip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo and the dwarves happen upon a patch of catnip while traveling through the forest.
> 
> Thorin is not amused. Ori mourns his cardigan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swore I was not going to write anything for this universe until I updated The Burglar's Predicament. That was all hunky-dory until I found some catnip from before my cat traveled to the big scratch post in the sky. After I cried for about an hour (yeah, I'm a sap), I thought to myself, 'What if Bilbo came across catnip...?' You probably see where this is going.
> 
> I took liberties. Deal with it.
> 
> Also since you all seemed please with the idea of kitty!Bilbo riding around on Thorin' s head/shoulders, I decided to make it a thing that exists.
> 
> You're welcome.
> 
> (Short chapter is short. I'm sorry!)

There was an enticing smell in the air, and it was driving him nuts.

Bilbo narrowed his eyes, craning his neck around on his perch, trying to see if he could spot the plant causing his senses to go haywire.

Deciding it would be best to investigate the matter up close, he hopped off Thorin's shoulder (who sighed in relief; his nephews began sniggering again), and began trotting around on the ground, very determined to find the pleasant smell.

"Ok, where's he going?" Bofur asked, alarmed, as the tiny kitten wandered off the path.

"Bilbo!" Thorin growled, but the hobbit-kitten paid him no heed. He was so close, he could almost taste it...

"Dammit. Fíli, go get him," Bilbo heard the rightful dwarf-king snarl. The kitten purred, pouncing on a patch of leaves.

He'd found it. Whatever it was, it was delightful...

The kitten began to squirm, rubbing his back on the leaves.

Screw Erebor, he was never leaving this spot. Not even for cuddles in Thorin's lap.

xxxxxxxxxx

Fíli sighed. "Uncle...he found catnip."

Thorin grumbled while they all watched the kitten squirm about on the ground, a hazy look in his cat eyes. "Bag some of it up then. Someone put on some heavy duty gloves and...remove him from the plant."

"Not me!" Chorused through the camp, and Ori looked forlorn.

"He's going to ruin my cardigan," He moaned.

Nori clapped him on the shoulder. "Knit yourself a new one, then."

Ori attempted to glare at him, but it turned into a pout. "I hate you all."

Kíli grinned. "You know you love us! Hurry up, daylight's a-wasting!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm running out of adventures for kitty!Bilbo. Give me your ideas!
> 
> Also I seem to like causing pain for Ori. Wut.


End file.
